I've been told recently that I should either a) write a book or b) start a blog on dating. Apparently my stories and advice are amusing and useful. However, as I don't have a terribly long attention span, I figured I should try my hand at blogging. What is my experience you ask (Or perhaps not)? I don't have a degree in relationship psychology (English literature actually) but I do have a lot of stories (mostly funny) that somehow fit well into conversation, and can at times, lend insight to other people's troubles. I'm also extremely free with advice. And sometimes people even take it. For example:
When I was in college (I think I was a softmore) I was crazy about this guy (We'll call him Clark). He was super intelligent (and was aware of it) and quite cute, although he had huge (kind of crushed) teeth. When he smiled, he almost looked like a cute, intelligent, horse. Not that I can really talk, I also have large teeth (imagine what our kids would have looked like). We would sit for hours being intellectual, talking about politics, religion, and books. We never questioned that we were smarter than all of the other college students sitting around the world, musing about life.
This would have all been perfect except, unfortunately for me, Clark had a big crush (we're talking full on "I'm in love with this girl" crush) on some blond freshman. She was one of those cheerleader types, always bubbly and friendly, but a pot boiling over of evilness inside (at least that was my unbiased opinion).Unfortunately for Clark, the blond freshman wouldn't give him the time of day.
It was shortly after we began hanging out that Clark discovered that I had a knack for relationship analizing. More and more frequently our conversations turned toward the random blond girl. Against my better judgement (even after he told me that if he were smarter and unattached he would like a girl like me) I gave him my opinion; "She likes attention which is why she lets you hang around with her. You're too good for her. It won't work out" but he kept asking. Finally I told him that he should stop going to see her and in about a week she would approach him saying that she missed him and that she wanted to hang out again (because she craved the drama and attention) and they would date. But then I warned him that it would only last a week or two. I know, I sound like cheap psychic, but I'd seen it all before, it made sense. I felt safe in my prophesy. So, my words fresh in his mind, Clark hurried forth to fulfill his destiny.
About two weeks later he returned, looking very confused, "It happened just like you said" He told me. He had ignored her for about a week, she'd come looking for him, they'd hung out a few times, but then it had fizzled.
After that he avoided me (difficult on a campus of 1600 students). I never knew whether he'd gotten sick of my friendship, felt pressure to date me because he was no longer attached, or was creeped out by my foretelling his future (friendships have always been harder for me to figure out than dating). I ran into him about six months later and while in hurry to get away, he explained to me in stilted tones that he was transfering because he hated our school. About a year after that I invited him to be my friend on Facebook and he declined.
All this to say, I can be creepy in my understanding of dating. Also, don't take it too seriously, I don't like it when people stop talking to me because I give them advice (I mean, he asked right?). There are only so many different types of men and women in this world and when they mingle and date, trends develop, and history tends to repeat itself. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
